Showing posts with label Personal coach jim Woods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal coach jim Woods. Show all posts

Monday, January 14, 2013

How To Make Your Life An Adventure

Adventurer on a Rock

So, you want to take your life from a 3.1 to a 10 on the adventure scale? I don’t blame you. Nobody wants a bland life. Let’s rip the roof off of your story (to let the snow and falcons in).

No path in life is safe, including boring ones; you might as well pick an adventurous path. Here we go!  Throw some curry in the pot! Light the fireworks! Sound the foghorn! We’re going on an adventure…

Step One: Imagine

The first step of an adventure involves no physical action. You need ideas, and those require the spark of imagination.

Wow, what if I did THAT?”

While most of us were working our tails off, someone using their imagination said, “dude, what if blankets had sleeves?” and became a millionaire with Snuggies.

For you, it could be a business idea. It could be a home project – building a boat, starting a real life Hunger Games (non-lethal or you’re in big trouble), an adventure-themed book club, making your basement a night club. It could be an urge to move somewhere random or specifically in the world. Or perhaps the thought of quitting your job and taking a sabbatical electrifies you.

It could be anything because now you’re using your imagination.


Imagination is the doorway to adventure.

You might not carry out these crazy ideas, but you should entertain each and every one that appeals to you. Don’t hold back – let your imagination run wild. You’re not committing to anything – you’re just browsing Possibility Magazine and enjoying the pictures. Imagine creating a magazine called Possibility Magazine.

One reason we stop ourselves short on imagination is a rampant disease known as “being realistic.” Here’s what I know about being realistic…

  • The moment a blind man scaled Mount Everest, being realistic died.
  • The moment people started running more than 100 miles non-stop, being realistic died.
  • The moment you realize that people just like you have done the things you once considered out of reach, being realistic will die for you.

Continue to imagine life-shaking ideas. Learn to sail. Learn to dance. Get lost in the woods on purpose like Bear Grylls (careful now!). Start a band. Maybe they’re ideas you’ve frequently had. Pay attention to these – they’re hanging around in your head because deep down you want them. Or you’ll have new ideas are sparking now. Have fun and let your mind go on an adventure.

Step Two: Draw An X On Your Treasure Map

You should be proud of me, because that adventurous phrase up there has a plain name that sounds boring. Goals. *half of readers leave* Hey, come back! Ah, shoot. Well, the rest of you are still here, so I’ll continue.

Any good adventurer has at least a semblance of what he wants out of his journey – even if it is just a belly full of rum and salty skin. But most don’t stop at that. Pirates want the booty, and by that I mean treasure, not the modern usage of the word. Ok, they probably want the that one too, but I want to keep my blog PG-13.

Oh no! It’s the legendary Dollar General Pirate and his ceramic parrot, Edgar!

The difference is in this case, you’re the one drawing the X on the map instead of a legendary pirate 300 years ago. If you want to imagine that a legendary pirate drew your X, I heartily encourage that and give it two hooks up. You’re using your imagination!

This X is going to be one or two of the treasured ideas from your imagination escapade in step one. Don’t worry if it seems difficult to reach or if you’re uncertain about it – because that’s even better! What adventurer has ever gotten a treasure easily?

And now I’m going to halt this program for a brief intermission. Maybe you’re thinking, “yeah, he’s using all this jazzy adventure language and analogies, but the underlying point is the same boring idea of setting a goal and getting it.” To that, I say “Arrrgh!” and “Incorrect!”

Life becomes adventurous the moment you add uncertainty to it. An adventure according to Google’s dictionary is to:

Engage in hazardous and exciting activity, esp. the exploration of unknown territory: “they had adventured into the forest.”

Danger and excitement are aspects of adventure, but it says especially the exploration of unknown territory. Exploring unknown territory is THE determining factor of adventure. So if you tell me your life is boring and you want adventure, you’re simply playing it too safe and close to home. You need to see a new place, or try something new in your current place. Your imagination is how you’ll find these adventurous ideas.

Now, back to your X.

You’ve decided now, right? You have one or more Xs on your map. Good. The next step is to draw your path. Look at your map now. You should see a “you are here” dot. It’s red. No, that’s a sprinkle. Get the cupcake off the map please. Yes, there it is. Ok, now from this dot, calculate exactly what steps are going to bring you from your red dot all the way to your treasure.

Underwater Treasure Map

Thank you for moving the cupcake. I’m not sure why you chose your big goal to be underwater, but I trust you’re a strong swimmer. PS. My art guy is really talented, isn’t he?

The steps should be as specific as possible, but towards the later stages it might be fuzzier and could change as you move along. That’s ok, just do the best you can, because the most important step you’ll calculate is that first tiny one in front of your red dot. That one is known as the big tiny one.

Step Three: One Small Step, One Brand New Adventure!

Unbelievable. You started out with such a boring life, and now you are holding a treasure map and eating a cupcake? That is a miraculous transformation. I would say your adventure is underway, but it isn’t official yet. You are certainly primed for excitement, but it’s just the same as it was in The Hobbit movie. Bilbo wasn’t on his adventure until he dashed through his gate and said, “I’m going on an adventure!”

You must now do the same, and preferably make it as charming and exciting as Bilbo did. If you want, you can just say it in your computer chair in a monotone voice (not recommended), but it’s better to stand up and pump your fist while you say it.

Alas, saying it is less important than doing it. Taking that first step outside of your safe zone (The Shire) will immediately make it clear – this is adventurous, and frightening. It’s true, the unknown can be a dangerous and scary place, but it’s a very exciting, adventurous place! In The Hobbit, Bilbo had a tussle with trolls almost immediately. He could have been at home eating cheese instead!

But like any story worth telling (or living *ahem*), risk, danger, and uncertainty abound. And we have it easy. A significant majority of our adventures will not be lethally dangerous, but if Mr. Baggins had messed up with those trolls, J.R.R. Tolkien’s book would have been a short tragedy and the Lord Of The Rings would have never happened. Whew.

Now you have a choice. You can keep doing the same things that got you bored and yearning for more. Or you can fire up your imagination, mark your treasure map, plot the course, step outside your front door…

and go on an adventure!

tick…tock…tick…tock…no pressure…tick…tock…Ok, maybe a little…tick…tock…tick…………….Tock. 

Innovation_consultant_and_speaker_jim_woods

25 Years of Coaching and Consulting Success.

Be More Effective In All the Ways That Matter To You Most! 

Jim Woods Coaching is the ultimate medium for aligning your life with authentic principles and goals. You'll find meaningful success with less, stress, more focus, more peace, more productivity and happier relationships that last. Action is the most important step of achievement. See our clients. 

Click here to start now.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Try This 20-Minute Exercise To Eradicate Negative Thinking

After a flurry of emails in response to my blog post on passion, I reached a disheartening realization: Passion is useless if you don’t already believe.

You see, what we can achieve is limited by what we believe. Henry Ford knew this: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”

So here I was, passionately committed to become the world-class business guru, best-selling author, the speaker who fills stadiums. And yet there was voice telling me, “You can’t do it. Keep trying, trying is fun, but in the end you will fail.”

You’ve probably heard that voice as well.

I’m making progress--my book sales are accelerating, my keynote audiences are growing, and I’m sharing the stage with people like Jack Welch and Robin Sharma--but in the back of my mind the voice pulls the reins: “You can’t do it.”

Great “outthinkers” seem to overcome this voice. Their belief matches their passion. Napoleon believed he was the greatest general of his time and so he was. Steve Jobs believed his people could achieve the impossible, so they did. Richard Branson believed he could win against British Airways, and so he won, even though every airline that tried over the prior three decades failed.

Belief is contagious. It wins supporters. It’s self-fulfilling. As Harvard professor Rosebeth Moss Kanter shows in her book Confidence, the belief you can win creates momentum which improves your chances of winning.

So what do you do when you don’t believe?

Over the past four weeks, I’ve studied books and articles, interviewed entrepreneurs and experts, then assembled it all for you in a simple framework with which you can systematically attack whatever belief is holding you down. Give me 20 minutes. This works.

Fundamentals

1. Beliefs aren’t real. They are mental maps, abstractions of reality, that help us predict a complex world. My son believes good batteries must be cold because I keep ours in the freezer. He believes Santa Claus rides a sleigh.

2. Four anchors form our beliefs (For more, read Why We Believe What We Believe by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman).

  • Evidence: Something happens (e.g., gifts appear one morning and my mom says they are from Santa Claus)
  • Logic: It makes sense, more specifically, it is consistent with our other beliefs (e.g., gifts can’t just appear out of nowhere, my mom and dad were asleep...it must have been Santa)
  • Emotion: Strong emotional associations (a 3-year-old’s joy at getting a new choo choo) embed beliefs more indelibly
  • Social consensus: We believe more deeply if others believe too (e.g., Maria and Nico and Sofia all say Santa brought them gifts too)

 

3. We reject what doesn’t fit. Once a belief is formed, we explain away any inconsistent evidence. I saw a documentary in which a young child said to his friends, “Santa came to my house and ate a little bit of a cookie, then he went to Jack’s house and ate a little bit and drank some milk, then to Maria’s and ate some and then...So if he went to ALL of our houses in one night, it must mean--” You are sure he is about to realize Santa can’t be real, but instead he animates excitedly, “Santa must have been really hungry!”

4. Humans need consistency between beliefs, actions, and words. In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini calls this “The Rule of Consistency." This is how beliefs hold us down or lift us up. If you believe you can’t, you start acting and speaking like someone who can’t, so you actually can’t. Interestingly, the relationship also works in reverse: Change your action or words and you can change your beliefs.

The Model

Over a 12-hour flight home from Paraguay, I assembled these principles into a model we can use to deconstruct and replace any belief that holds us down. It is simpler than it looks.

Imagine a hot air balloon being held down by four anchors. The balloon represents the belief holding you down and actions and words this belief influences.

The four anchors represent evidence, logic, emotion, and social consensus. To release the balloon you must replace the offending belief. Do this in five steps:

Step 1: Identify the belief.
Find a belief that is holding you down. Tip: Write down beliefs until you find one that hurts. In my case, “You don’t really have what it takes to be world-class author/speaker/thinker.”

Step 2: Identify the anchors.

  • What evidence/events anchor the belief? (my books aren’t on the NYT best-seller list)
  • What emotions anchor your belief? (I feel comfort because in not really trying, I know I can’t fail)
  • Who around you reinforces this belief (social consensus)? (well-intentioned people who congratulate me on already having achieved the dream)
  • What logic locks in this belief; what “dependent beliefs” fit? (wanting to fill a stadium is self-centered, thinking I can offer what people don’t already know is conceited)
Step 3: Pick a new belief.
What alternative belief would be consistent with someone who really achieves your dream? (I am destined to be a best-selling business thinker and speaker.)

 

Step 4: Release the anchors.

  • Evidence: what alternative evidence supports this new belief? (people pay me lots of money to speak, I’m sharing the stage with some of the biggest business gurus)
  • Emotions: what does it feel like to really live this new belief and fulfill your dream? (passion, purpose, having made an impact)
  • Social consensus: who can you surround yourself with to support the new belief? (other business gurus and authors)
  • Beliefs: how can you replace the “dependent beliefs” identified above? (this is not conceited because it’s about serving others; the best business gurus do it to serve others, not for their ego)
Step 5: Set your course.
Write down five specific things you will do (action) and say (words) that force you to live your new belief.

 

Completing this process took me 20 minutes and has put me fully in the game, committed and knowing I can win. Would that be worth your time?

Click here for a more detailed workbook. I will also invite you to a free webinar outlining this framework and add you to my newsletter. If you don’t find my newsletter valuable you can unsubscribe with one click.
 [Image: Flickr user Karen Blaha] via fastcompany.com

Jim Woods is about helping companies and people engage innovate and grow in all the areas important to them. Jim is a professional speaker, author, coach, and strategy consultant based in Colorado Springs, Co. Follow Jim on Twitter @innothinkgroup, Facebook https://www.facebook.com/InnoThink Group or check out his company website http://innothinkgroup.com for more tips and strategies effective leadership, engaged employees, increase growth, and customer effectiveness through innovation. To arrange for Jim to consult or speak at your event email Jim.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

30-second therapist: Why don't women like ‘nice guys’? - Relationships

 

  Dr. Gilda Carle

 

Need a quick answer to a relationship dilemma? Relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle cuts through the fluff with her relationship advice in TODAY.com’s “30-second therapist” series.

Q: I'm one of those "nice guys" who gets complimented on the way he treats the woman he's with, and women in general. However, I always end up getting the soul crushing, "you're a nice guy, but not for me" good-bye; the "there's someone out there for you, but it's not me" statement or the "I love you, but not that way" speech. Each feels like an acid-dipped knife slowly being twisted in my wound.

What does it take to be more than the "too-nice-to-date" guy friend who wears his heart on his sleeve, but never gets to be the boyfriend?  Do I have to become the heartless guy that women seem to swoon over? —Nice Guys Finish Last

Dear Nice Guy,
Here’s the Dr. Gilda nice guy mantra: “If one woman tells you you’re too nice, that’s merely her opinion. If many women tell you you’re too nice, it’s time to take notes!”

You identify yourself as someone who “wears his heart on his sleeve.” Kill that description!  It positions your heart for personal nose-wiping and brow-mopping—and housekeeping is not the intended purpose of your precious fourth chakra.

The options of being either a rejected victim or “heartless” are harsh extremes. You’re intentionally attracting unlikely partners to confirm your feelings as a loser in love.  Dude, swallow a dose of self-regard, and cease struggling so hard. Inspiration, not desperation, is what attracts. When you’re fully equipped with a sturdy spine, appropriate women will join your fan club. —Dr. Gilda via today.msnbc.msn.com