If someone is controlling you it's not their fault, it’s your fault. That is the terrible truth I lived with for over thirty years. I had been too threatened by failure to go for the things I wanted. Oh, I went for them. But it seemed something was always missing.
I use to wonder if perhaps everyone else were born underneath the lucky star. They appeared to have the great job and lovable relationships.
Perhaps you’ve felt that way. You’re reluctant to express your inner feelings. You don’t speak up about what is most important to you. Too comfortable with “success” to make your life better. Too unlovable to find a healthy relationship or unwanted to end an unhealthy relationship. You’re sensitive to criticism wanting everyone’s support and devotion that you seldom if ever put your foot down.
You go to bed like I did, faint hearted to strike in a new direction. Confident, but in some way, expecting happiness for others while casting a dark cloud over our own accomplishments.
We aren’t alone. In my thirty years as a consultant, speaker and life coach I have learned that the vast majority of people are paralyzed by fear. This fear becomes unconsciously competent in its own right to keep you where you are. These demons cast doubts; create skepticism about your capabilities over anything disrupting the status quo.
“Oh, you can’t do that.” You’re always failing.” You tried that before and failed.”
Are you really ready for this big step right now? “Don’t start now, wait on another opinion.”
I’m living proof that the most heart wrenching experiences can work to serve us. A nervous breakdown, divorce, contemplating suicide were the misguided self destructive efforts I considered to find my peace. Then something occurred causing my self defeating behaviors to become little more than a memory.
My life turned around. So can yours. It doesn’t take a lifetime. It starts with a decision. To decide to life courageously. This is your life. I’m here when you need me. Jim
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